Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
What is this, break time? Back to work!
This Space Available
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
Womp Womp
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
Do it again. Double dog dare ya.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
The future is later.
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
Nuh-uh
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
I got an Addy Award for ya
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
It's probably fine.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Don't stop now!
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
Knowledge is good.
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.