This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
I got an Addy Award for ya
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
This Space Available
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
Womp Womp
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
Knowledge is good.
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
Don't stop now!
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
It's probably fine.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
The future is later.
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
Don't stop now!
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Nuh-uh
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.