Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Knowledge is good.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
Don't stop now!
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
Womp Womp
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
Nuh-uh
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
It's probably fine.
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
The future is later.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
This Space Available
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
Do it again. Double dog dare ya.
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
I got an Addy Award for ya
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.