The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
The future is later.
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
This Space Available
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Do it again. Double dog dare ya.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
Don't stop now!
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
Nuh-uh
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
Do it again. Double dog dare ya.
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
Womp Womp
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
It's probably fine.
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
Don't stop now!
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Knowledge is good.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
I got an Addy Award for ya
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.