Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
The future is later.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Womp Womp
Don't stop now!
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
I got an Addy Award for ya
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
What is this, break time? Back to work!
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
Nuh-uh
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
Knowledge is good.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
This Space Available
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
It's probably fine.
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.