Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Knowledge is good.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
The future is later.
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
It's probably fine.
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
Womp Womp
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
I got an Addy Award for ya
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
This Space Available
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
Don't stop now!
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Nuh-uh
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.